MidstreamIs couples counselling worth it in Australia? What it is, what it involves and who it helps
An honest look at what couples counselling is, what actually happens in sessions, what affects whether it helps, and how to decide if it is worth it for you.
What is couples counselling?
Couples counselling gives both partners a neutral space to talk about what isn't working, with someone who is on the side of the relationship rather than either person. The counsellor's role is not to decide who is right. It is to help you slow conversations down, notice what keeps happening between you, and practise different ways of responding.
It suits couples of all kinds: dating, engaged, married, de facto, separated, co-parenting, same-sex and transgender couples.
What does couples counselling involve?
Most couples counselling follows a broad shape, though every couple's path is different:
- A first session to understand what brings you in, how each of you sees things and what you hope will change.
- Exploring the patterns behind conflict or distance: what sets them off and what each of you feels underneath.
- Learning and practising practical skills for talking, listening and repairing after an argument.
- Working on specific issues such as trust, intimacy, parenting differences or a big life change.
- Reviewing progress together and deciding the pace and next steps.
Sessions are calm and paced so both partners feel heard. If you'd like to see it explained, our short film about how counselling works is a good starting point.
Is couples counselling worth it in Australia?
That depends on what you want from it and what you're willing to put in. Counselling tends to be most useful when:
- Both partners are willing to attend and be honest, even if one is more hopeful than the other.
- You come while there is still some goodwill, rather than waiting until one person has already left emotionally.
- You try things between sessions, not only during them.
- The goal is understanding and change, not proving a point.
It can also be worth it when the answer is to separate. Some couples use counselling to reach a clear, shared decision and to end things with less damage, which matters a great deal if you have children together.
It is less likely to help, and may not be safe, when one partner is afraid of the other or there is violence or coercive control. In that case, individual support is the right first step. In an emergency, call 000, or call 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732 or Lifeline on 13 11 14.
What does it cost, and does Medicare help?
Fees vary between practitioners and session types. At Midstream Counselling, current session options and fees are shown when you book online, and a $50 deposit secures your first booking. Medicare generally doesn't cover counselling with a counsellor; Better Access rebates under a mental health care plan apply to psychologists and some other registered providers. Some private health funds offer rebates for counselling under extras cover, so check with your fund. Our guide to couples counselling cost and Medicare explains this in more detail.
How to decide if it's worth it for you
Try answering these questions honestly, on your own first and then together:
- What is the problem costing us right now, in sleep, mood, work or time with the kids?
- Have we tried to fix it ourselves, and what happened?
- Do we both still want things to be better, even if we're unsure how?
- What would a good result look like, realistically, in three months?
If you can name a cost, you've tried on your own without much change, and at least one of you still has hope, counselling is likely to be worth exploring.
How to get the most from couples counselling
- Come with one or two specific things you want to change, not a list of everything wrong.
- Bring real examples, such as a recent argument, rather than general complaints.
- Speak about your own feelings and needs more than your partner's faults.
- Try the small practices between sessions and notice what changes.
Relationship therapy in Melbourne and online
Midstream Counselling is a relationship counselling practice in Doncaster, in Melbourne's eastern suburbs. Elena Basova has supported couples and individuals since 2022. You can meet in the room at 450 Doncaster Road, Doncaster VIC, or online couples therapy by secure video anywhere in Australia. Whether you call it couples counselling or relationship therapy, Melbourne couples can book directly, with no GP referral or mental health care plan needed. Read more about couples counselling or what to expect in a first session.
Frequently asked questions
What is couples counselling in simple terms?
It is a set of guided conversations between two partners and a counsellor. The aim is to understand what keeps going wrong, communicate more safely and decide together what happens next.
How many sessions of couples counselling are usually needed?
It varies. Some couples come for a few sessions to work through one issue, while others prefer ongoing support over several months. You review progress together and decide the pace.
Is couples counselling worth it if only one of us wants to go?
It can be. Many couples start with one partner more willing than the other, and the hesitant partner often relaxes once they see the counsellor doesn't take sides. If your partner won't come at all, individual sessions can still help you understand the relationship and your options.
Do we need a referral for couples counselling in Australia?
No. You can book couples counselling directly without a GP referral or a mental health care plan.